Im 40 and alone, how can I find a woman to marry me?

Basically, Ive always been average at everything, and rather ugly and shy around women, Ive been rejected all my life and ave neevr had a date or kissed girl. I turned 40 in january, 5 years ago approxmatley i got sick of not knowing and had with a hooker. I feel even worse, I mean I have to pay a woman to sleep with me....how can anyone be so undesirable that the only way they can get female contact is by funding some poor womans drug habit? I hate myself, everyday I come home to an empty house and sit alone and cry, I have nothing to live for, no one loves me, no one cares, Its too late for me to have children and the chances of e getting marriedar very very slim since ive gone 25 years without a date, and its not like i didnt try, but it seems that women werent willing to settle for a little less, couldnt be bothered to do a bit of talking because i was obviously shy, couldnt bear the tought of me saying something wrong out of nerves. Im a nice guy, even in my late twenties I had hope that SOMEONE would want me, but no. What can I do? Is it worth me spending my money on stuff like eharmony and match, or should I just buy more escorts since its the only way I can actually feel cared for