Please help am i still depressed or just selfish?

I would say you are still depressed Hun. I'd go to a doctor. If it mean being put back in the hospital then that's what you need. You need to get your self some depression medication. You need to eat more. I understand you don't wanna get overweight but you need to at least eat 1000 calories or 1200 calories a day. Nothing less than 1000. you'll make yourself sick again.